4/2/09 Opie and Anthony Show Rundown: Joe DeRosa, Bill Burr in Studio; Guiding Light; Bob Nelson; The Queen; Unicycle Rides; Intern Jill and Cotton Balls; Giveaways

First hour:

They talk about this being the last week of being in this studio and about a few years ago when XM built it to O&A's specifications.

They talk about the good stuff that is being taken out of the office to be given away to people in the audience. They talk about listeners waiting outside to get in.

From Opie's Twitter: two of the fans waiting outside in the rain at 5am

Opie says that Kenny went and did some recon and found out that near the new building there is nothing that is open before 6am, not even a Starbucks. However Kenny told them that employees will pay $50/month less for parking there.

Ant says that NYC is now thinking about taxing people who make more than $250,000 a year - in addition to the state and federal taxes that they already have to pay.

Jimmy says that it feels like they're getting fired but it's only moving to a different building. Ant says that he hates change and Opie says that they're like gypsies.

Opie says that Bill Burr, Joe DeRosa, Jay Mohr, and Doug Stanhope may all be in today and Jimmy says that Bob Saget may be in tomorrow.

Opie brings up that Guiding Light will be taken off the air after 72 years and they talk about it for a while.

the original show intro to Guiding Light when it was a radio show.

Jimmy had mentioned that Stuntbrain's wife worked on some soap opera and Opie reads Instant Feedback from Kevin From Connecticut saying that Stuntbrain has landed a gig with Montel Williams on Air America. Ant reads some names of actors/actresses who became big after being on Guiding Light and Opie reads about some things in history that happened while Guiding Light has been on the air.

They get to talking about gay guys and that no one knew what it meant to be gay back in history. "Ted" makes a brief appearance about the invention of glory holes and Ant does his olde-tyme voice.

does an olde-tyme voice and says that pedophiles used to just be friends of the family.

tells them about the soap mentioned in the intro to Guiding Light.

does an olde-tyme voice about hats getting removed off old ladies heads.

a tv news report about a guy who was drunk-driving a barstool:

They are reminded of a Segway and Danny shows them this video:


says that you can buy a lawnmower with a V-8 engine.

says that cops in his area use Segways. Ant makes fun of his high-pitched voice and the guy says that people call him "Miss" all the time on the phone.

says that motorized bar stools have been around for years.

another caller who says that the bar stools have been around for years.

says that there is a company that makes coolers that you can ride on. She is from Detroit so Opie asks her how the town is doing with the mess that the car companies is in, she says that it's very bad and they talk about it for a little while.

says that one of his friends races his lawnmower nationally and they get up to 90 MPH. They talk about it a little and check out some pics.

tells them about putting motors on bicycles.

Second hour:

tells them about a video of guy riding his lawnmower drunk and the cops used a TASER on him. Danny says that video is fake.

a caller from Buffalo. He never gets to say why he called but Opie reminisces about the day he left Buffalo to move back south and had literally only some change in his pocket which wasn't enough to pay a toll on a bridge. Jimmy says that he hasn't been to Buffalo in a long time and jokes that his act is still the same now as it was back then.

They talk about comedians who have never changed their act over the years such as Bob Nelson who still does his old football routine:


Ant mentions that he saw trailers to some upcoming new movies such as Christian Bale's Terminator and Ant gets into what Back To The Future could be like with Christian Bale.

says that he saw Bob Nelson in PA about two weeks ago and it was the same act as his HBO appearance like 25 years ago.

a comedian from Boston who says that he opened for Bob Nelson last year in providence and says that the crowd yelled out which of his bits to do. He says that the show was sold out with people who are 60+ years old and that Bob was selling VHS tapes of himself after the show.

tells them about an old movie that Bob was in.

says that he is a trucker and it cost him $87 in tolls to get in and out of the city yesterday.

Opie asks Sam to talk about some of the stuff that they will be giving away today.


Lady Trucker is mentioned and Opie says that she wrote him saying that she had a good time at the O&A the show even though she was getting so abused.

They talk to a guy in the audience who brought donuts.

Opie says that someone else brought in a unicycle but the tire is flat. Ant says that the guy looks like a 1977 version of Ant.

They talk about President and Mrs. Obama meeting the Queen in England and breaking protocol.

Ant rants about the Queen and what she has done with her life.

says that the Queen was a mechanic on the front lines in World War II.

says that he heard on the news that the Queen gave the Obamas a signed pic of herself.

says that the Queen's people suggested that President Obama give her an iPod.

says that the Queen is actually also the Queen of Canada and Australia.

says that O&A are complaining about the gifts between the Queen and the President but O&A are giving away shitty gifts to their listeners.

had a DUI in America and couldn't get into Canada without getting permission from the Queen.

Opie tells Sam to talk to a guy in the audience who is wearing a bear costume. Kenny says that the guy is being uppity and the guy says that he knew Kenny when Kenny was a cop. Sam gets the crowd chanting for the guy to take off his bear mask.

Opie lets Sam bring people to sit in the studio, one of whom is former intern Tony and they talk with him a little.

a Back To The Future/Lost thing based on last night's Lost. They don't talk about it because Jimmy hasn't seen last night's Lost yet and doesn't want any spoilers.

Ant talks about stumbling upon a video webcast last night in which Danny noticed that there was a WOW sticker in the background.

Third hour:


a Joe DeRosa bit.

Joe DeRosa has joined them in the studio and they talk about Joe and the donuts during the break.

Opie says that Bill decided not to do the show today because Joe is on. Joe says that Bill is in bed, right where he left him. Joe explains that he lives in Bill's apartment and sublets it from Bill. Joe tells a few stories about Bill being his landlord.

They talk about hookers for a little while and about NYC being clean now compared to years ago.

They talk again about the President and Mrs. Obama meeting the Queen and Bruno Kirby is brought up.

Jimmy starts to talk about a news story about a magazine salesman who raped and burned a 78 year old woman. But that gets interrupted...

Bill Burr joins them in the studio and gives his pal Joe a hard time for being on the O&A show without him.

Opie asks Bill for his side of a story that Joe told about Bill not wanting to take rent in advance from Joe once.

Bill talks about feeling sick today and tells some stories about Joe at home.

says that he heard Bill on another radio show this morning.

One thing leads to another and Al Pacino is brought up and they goof on him for a while.

a woman who called 911 because she said that she was locked inside of her car.

They talk about the lack of chicks in the audience this morning and Sam gives away some stuff to some people and talks to a few of the people.

Fourth hour:


a Bill Burr bit.

Bobo Springsteen. He announces that he'll be singing Born To Run tomorrow and sings about Joe DeRosa because Joe has to drive through Jersey to get to NYC from his hometown of Philly. Bobo misses a few points so they have him sing it again.

Danny tries to ride the flat-tired unicycle but falls off right away. Bill suggests getting some bets going about how far Danny will get:

From Opie's Twitter

Steve C says that he has been trying to pump up the tire but people think that he was doing it wrong. Joe says that he'll try riding it if Bill does after him but Joe is afraid that he'll hurt himself falling off. The crowd chants "Joe, Joe, Joe" and Joe eventually gives it a shot while circus music plays:

From Opie's Twitter

Danny says that they're sending the unicycle out to get the tire fixed.

Jimmy calls Intern Jill into the studio and he plays with some cotton balls. She has some kind of phobia about cotton balls and she freaks out at them. Jimmy stuffs some in his mouth and tries talking to her and she gets weired out. Opie wants to do something with cotton balls and her. Jimmy puts a couple on the palm of her hand which she drops:

From Opie's Twitter

From Opie's Twitter

Opie eventually comes up with the idea of offering her some money to do more with them. A hat is passed around and $132 is collected for her. Jimmy tries to make a joke about the money but bombs. They toss around a bunch of idea of what she can do with the cotton balls. They have her reach into the bag of cotton balls and rub one against her teeth. They have her put a few in her mouth. The balls become easier for her to tolerate when they become wet so she has to use fresh dry balls. As she gets more in her mouth she moans and makes noises that turn on Joe. Jimmy has her grind her teeth on the balls and she makes more noises which Opie and the other guys start to enjoy. Jimmy then has her put one in each ear and she loses her mind. Joe suggests that she rub one on her tongue and then Opie has her drop some down the front of her shirt which she says feels like sadness. Jimmy shows her that she has a cotton ball on her head that she didn't even know about:

From Jimmy's Twitter

Uncle Paul makes an appearance for Joe and they go back to more things for Jill to do with cotton balls. Jimmy has her rub one along the inside of her teeth and she makes the BEST noises. They have her take a few balls between her front teeth and pull the balls apart. Next they have her put some between her toes. Opie reads some comments from listeners who are liking this as well as other people who are freaked out by cotton balls. Opie had come up with the idea earlier to have her bob for cotton balls and Joe suggests now that they use one of the donut boxes:

From Opie's Twitter

Fifth hour:

Jill is then blindfolded and has to walk across cotton balls on the floor and cotton balls are thrown at her while she walks following Sam's voice. Opie says that they're trying to get her to step on a donut - she keeps missing it at first however she does step into it eventually and ends the bit.


They say that during the break Bill was telling a story about being hit in his balls once while playing softball. He re-tells the story now and says that he had no pain when it happened but several days later his balls and taint turned the color of purple crayon which worried him.

Opie asks Bill about a story Bill told on his podcast about making a fool of himself trying to visit the Joshua Tree in California.

Jimmy bombs making a joke about dick sizes and Joe bombs while trying to talk about Sam.

The unicycle has returned all pumped up. Joe tries to ride it again with the circus music playing again and Ant playing along to the music with his slide-whistle. Danny tries to ride it and then Sam tries to get up on it for the first time but doesn't do well. Danny tries it again and gets about two pedals out of it - the most of anyone so everyone applauds. He says that he wants to to do it more but there's not enough room for him to get a momentum going.

Sam gives away some more stuff to people in the audience. He sees Flea_Man in the audience and says that Flea_Man gets nothing [editor's note: however Flea did get a few things to send to me. Thanks, Flea!].

Opie notices that East-Side Dave is outside so he calls Dave in to get him to try to ride the unicycle but Dave can't do it.

The show ends at 11:02.